Two Pats

Phil.1:3-8 “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.”

The room was decorated nicely, and the settings were all in order at each of the round tables. An extended buffet table was loaded with warming trays of delightfully presented entrées and sides. Of course, at the end of the table there was an assorted array of “fat pills,” deserts. It was going to be an evening of indulging or maybe over-indulging in delicious food and fellowship.

I walked into the room with a quick-stepped pace, my mind was still racing in thought after carrying out the many varied tasks of the day. Near the room entrance, I said hello to several of the leaders that were gathered there for this special event. As I walked deeper into the room, one of the leaders who had been at my side for the past three years stepped up to greet me.

As usual, I gave him my Richard hug, which amounted to a quick man hug and two pats on the back. Two pats, mind you, not three or four. To my surprise, my friend did not let go when the two pat signal was given. He tightly held on to me. I remember continuing to try and pull away, to no avail. He then shared with me his love and gratitude for our friendship and his appreciation to be part of the leadership team. This man, who was a dear friend, had just been given the diagnosis of terminal cancer I then learned. It is remarkable how sober we become when the terminal word is used regarding a disease. Though we all know we won’t live on this earth forever, the thought of our departure is very sobering no matter how spiritually minded we are.

How we express value to one another is very important. We all need to know we are valued and cherished. Cherished and not just tolerated. Being cherished and valued are at the heart of all genuine healthy, life-giving relationships. Value is assigned. Just like the price tag on an item of clothing, we assign value for one another. Of course, our assignment of value to others is nothing compared to God’s value of us. There is no way to compare the two, however, I am sure we could all agree, we could exert more effort in communicating value to one another. Expressing value is synonymous with expressing love.

In my years of leadership development and personnel management, I have learned that far too many people quit working for an employer because they do not feel valued by the leadership or coworkers. The lack of feeling valued has terminated many covenants that were not designed to end the way they did.

The apostle Paul made a very powerful statement in verse four when he said, “every time I remember you, I always for pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Paul’s love for the Philippians was very obvious. He remembered them, they were on his mind. He prayed for them. Not only were they his partners in the gospel but he was their partner. He was committed in his relationship with them. He believed the best of them.

Verse seven, “It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.” Paul valued these people, and they valued him. The book of Philippians was written in a time of great hardship. Persecution of their faith tested the loyalty in relationships. Those relationships would not have been sustained if there was no valuing of one another.

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” My understanding of the more accurate translation of this verse to mean, “a brother is born in adversity.”  Relationships that are tested by trials endure because of commitments made. Commitment stems from placing value on the other.

If you are a “two pat” Christian, would you consider learning how to embrace and cherish  those you have relationship with? Would you take the time to think outside of your own world and consider what is happening in the life of those you really do value? Would you take the time to answer honestly when someone asks how you are doing? If you ask someone else how they are doing, would you make the time to listen as they share. These are skills so lacking in today’s culture, let alone, Christian culture. You can change your world with an encouraging word, prayer, a phone call, a letter and a genuine, lingering hug.

The man that embraced me and would not let me go that night was embraced by Jesus a few months later. I know there was not “two pats.”

You are loved!


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