For Pity Sake
Heb.12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfector of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
The writer of Hebrews makes a distinction between the things that hinder and the committing of sin. While both are hazardous and present a sad ending, there is something that snares so many lovers of God that falls into the hinder and sin category. It’s called self-pity. In a time of great trial and difficulty it’s relatively easy to let our minds and hearts slip into the self-pity stinking thinking.
While pity is a valued trait towards others it can be emotionally deadly when focused inwardly. Self-pity is defined as feelings for others, particularly feelings of sadness or sorrow. In a positive sense it means “sympathy” and “empathy.” More commonly pity is the negative judgement of others and their situation. Sometimes pity can also have feelings of dislike or contempt for yourself and or others. Contempt is a strong negative opinion against someone including oneself.
There are several examples in the Bible where self-pity is likely to have played a part in the life of Bible characters. I imagine that self-pity was involved in Jonah’s heart when struggling with his mission to the people of Ninevah in Jonah 4. Self-pity may have played a role in Moses’ deep frustration in striking the rock when he was told by the Lord to speak to it in Numbers 20. These examples are suspicions on my part, but I think self-pity played a part in many of the people in scriptures lives and in lives today. Please allow me to list a few of the negative impacts self-pity plays when it is given free rent in your head and heart.
Self-pity is a blood sucker that drains away all of your hope, happiness, gratitude, joy, and humor.
It drains the strength needed to press through life’s challenges.
It is a form of living suicide, i.e. a noose is instructed to choke out life.
It robs of contentment and peace and leaves anxiety in its place.
It is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics. It is addictive! It gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.
It will keep you immobilized so that your future is no different than your past.
It is the opposite of thankfulness, gratitude and praise.
Self-pity is when you focus on everything that is going wrong in your life; your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. And these negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if your dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity.
Pride and self-pity go hand-in-hand. The focus is “self.” Me, myself and I. Self-centeredness and selfishness are two of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is at the center of all that matters. Self-conceit, self-fulfillment, self-gratification and self-seeking all take ones focus away from God and create their own idol, which is me!
Signs of self-pity can be:
Taking yourself too seriously. You struggle to laugh at your frail humanity when you make mistakes.
Craving drama, sympathy, or attention. For some, if there is no drama, they create it.
Low value of ones perspective of themselves. Craving the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves. The presentation of having a “tragic life story” that self-pitying people often talk a lot about creates an excellent way of collecting flocks of supporters. E.g. misery loves company.
Being a past-oriented person. Struggle living in the moment or embracing the future. Living in past memories rather than creating new memories in the present.
Being an individualist. Finding ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from friends and family.
Stinking thinking bolsters self-pity. Comparisons are made with others. Judgements are developed and harbored and entitlement can certainly take control. The idea that “I deserve better” or “you owe me.”
Self-pity can and will strangle any spiritual life if it is allowed. Self-pity is a sin. A sin that must be acknowledged and repented of; the turning away from sin and then turning towards God.
Sometimes we just need a good constructive self-talk just like King David when he spoke to his soul. Ps.42:11 “Why, my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” Yes, it’s okay and often helpful to challenge your own thoughts. Correct unhealthy destructive, stinking thinking before it gains a foothold in your mind and heart.
The Apostle Paul said it best. “Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess.5:18
We must stop self-pity before it stops us!
You are loved!
The writer of Hebrews makes a distinction between the things that hinder and the committing of sin. While both are hazardous and present a sad ending, there is something that snares so many lovers of God that falls into the hinder and sin category. It’s called self-pity. In a time of great trial and difficulty it’s relatively easy to let our minds and hearts slip into the self-pity stinking thinking.
While pity is a valued trait towards others it can be emotionally deadly when focused inwardly. Self-pity is defined as feelings for others, particularly feelings of sadness or sorrow. In a positive sense it means “sympathy” and “empathy.” More commonly pity is the negative judgement of others and their situation. Sometimes pity can also have feelings of dislike or contempt for yourself and or others. Contempt is a strong negative opinion against someone including oneself.
There are several examples in the Bible where self-pity is likely to have played a part in the life of Bible characters. I imagine that self-pity was involved in Jonah’s heart when struggling with his mission to the people of Ninevah in Jonah 4. Self-pity may have played a role in Moses’ deep frustration in striking the rock when he was told by the Lord to speak to it in Numbers 20. These examples are suspicions on my part, but I think self-pity played a part in many of the people in scriptures lives and in lives today. Please allow me to list a few of the negative impacts self-pity plays when it is given free rent in your head and heart.
Self-pity is a blood sucker that drains away all of your hope, happiness, gratitude, joy, and humor.
It drains the strength needed to press through life’s challenges.
It is a form of living suicide, i.e. a noose is instructed to choke out life.
It robs of contentment and peace and leaves anxiety in its place.
It is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics. It is addictive! It gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.
It will keep you immobilized so that your future is no different than your past.
It is the opposite of thankfulness, gratitude and praise.
Self-pity is when you focus on everything that is going wrong in your life; your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. And these negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if your dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity.
Pride and self-pity go hand-in-hand. The focus is “self.” Me, myself and I. Self-centeredness and selfishness are two of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is at the center of all that matters. Self-conceit, self-fulfillment, self-gratification and self-seeking all take ones focus away from God and create their own idol, which is me!
Signs of self-pity can be:
Taking yourself too seriously. You struggle to laugh at your frail humanity when you make mistakes.
Craving drama, sympathy, or attention. For some, if there is no drama, they create it.
Low value of ones perspective of themselves. Craving the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves. The presentation of having a “tragic life story” that self-pitying people often talk a lot about creates an excellent way of collecting flocks of supporters. E.g. misery loves company.
Being a past-oriented person. Struggle living in the moment or embracing the future. Living in past memories rather than creating new memories in the present.
Being an individualist. Finding ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from friends and family.
Stinking thinking bolsters self-pity. Comparisons are made with others. Judgements are developed and harbored and entitlement can certainly take control. The idea that “I deserve better” or “you owe me.”
Self-pity can and will strangle any spiritual life if it is allowed. Self-pity is a sin. A sin that must be acknowledged and repented of; the turning away from sin and then turning towards God.
Sometimes we just need a good constructive self-talk just like King David when he spoke to his soul. Ps.42:11 “Why, my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” Yes, it’s okay and often helpful to challenge your own thoughts. Correct unhealthy destructive, stinking thinking before it gains a foothold in your mind and heart.
The Apostle Paul said it best. “Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess.5:18
We must stop self-pity before it stops us!
You are loved!
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